We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Text me some of your sweat
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
