sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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