you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I did not marry a roomba.
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