Quick, to the slutcave!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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