Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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