There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
