you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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