She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
