god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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