The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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