my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
