Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
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