so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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