I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
