I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
