Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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