i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
