my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
