yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
