Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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