That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize