u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
