I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
