Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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