"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
