Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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