no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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