dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
