This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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