Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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