I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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