but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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