If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
