I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
