Nicole vs. Life
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think your dad took our porno
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
