i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
