Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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