I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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