The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
