seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
