I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
