She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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