It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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