He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
