Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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