Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
