just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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