so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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