is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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