did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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