the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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