I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
