Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
