I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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