wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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