i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
