Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
