clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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