i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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