the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize