i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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