I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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