I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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