Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I stole a fireplace last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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