You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
